Yeah, I know. I’ve been AWOL for… Let me do the math. Who am I kidding? I can’t do math…
October 21st? Seriously? I totally dropped the ball!
Anyways, long story short, I ended up having my schedule shifted around as of late, which changed a 9:00am to 6:00pm workday to 3:00pm to midnight. So a few long weeks of that, combined with barely seeing Jennifer at all, really took its toll. Luckily for me, (and my sanity) I managed to land a new job in a career path that’s more in my preferred track.
Shelby “Falcon509” Steiner is now a Data Analyst!
But that’s not what this post is about! No, this is about a thought that occurred to me recently, following what turned out to be one of the more difficult decisions I’ve ever made.
Analogies Are Fun!
Believe it or not, I don’t make friends easily. Sure, I can get along with people just fine, but there are only a handful of people that I’ve spent time with outside of work or events I’ve been invited to. To be perfectly honest, that’s something that I’ve definitely struggled with; I mean, I don’t often go out on a limb and reach out to people to make a friend. Acquaintances at work stay that way, because why would they want to know me outside of work? In my experience, people seem to prefer that arrangement and I’ve found it’s easier not to try forcing a friendship.
My latest job transition has been difficult to say the least. I’ve had the fortune to work with some truly remarkable people, but barring some folks who shared my late night shift, I don’t really feel I made “friends”. That hadn’t stopped me from thinking that I needed to do so, because I liked my coworkers and it didn’t feel right just leaving without a word. Still, it occurred to me that I really didn’t spend much time with most of them, and while I feel I got along well with everyone, it isn’t like I really got to know most of them.
Choosing what to play isn’t much different than making a friend. Some people have wider tastes in terms of the games they prefer, like someone that makes friends easily. Others have narrower preferences, like the kind of person that has a small group of close friends. Some games are an acquired taste, like making friends with someone you didn’t anticipate. For a long while, I played a tiny set of games, but I played the crap out of them and derived a ton of enjoyment from playing those few games. That’s the reason I have such a long list of games that I’ve played for over 100 hours, with some stretching close to the 1000 hour mark. As of late, I found I’ve been trying to stretch myself too thin in many areas of my life, including my hobbies. Now I’ve been finding myself pressing forward, trying to enjoy more games instead of the ones I love. Trying to branch out has been good for me I think because it has exposed me to even more experiences, but at the same time, I feel as if I’ve gotten less enjoyment from my hobby lately as a result. It’s almost as if I’ve been trying to force myself to like more things; like trying to force a friendship.
Just as interests between people don’t always align, sometimes you can’t just find enjoyment in a game. I think the key is to avoid trying to force it, which is why I started the whole Rediscovering Fun series with The Witcher III. It’s why I feel it’s important to remind oneself that you don’t need to enjoy every game.
The same could be said for anything really, especially for myself and writing. I found myself lamenting that I haven’t posted anything in a while, haven’t written anything for my story I’ve been working on, and haven’t been doing any journal entries for The Long Dark either. I’ve been slowly coming to a realization that if my heart isn’t in it, I probably shouldn’t force it.
The good news is that I feel much more free to do what I actually want to do. As for the friends thing? Well, I haven’t quite figured out how to not come across as an awkward mess. Let’s just say I’m a work in progress!
What’s your take on choosing what to play? Do you find yourself trying to force yourself to like something, do you enjoy everything you try, or are you the kind that just sticks with what you know?
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