Yeah, I know. I’ve been AWOL for… Let me do the math. Who am I kidding? I can’t do math…

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Time to get back in the saddle

October 21st? Seriously? I totally dropped the ball!

Anyways, long story short, I ended up having my schedule shifted around as of late, which changed a 9:00am to 6:00pm workday to 3:00pm to midnight. So a few long weeks of that, combined with barely seeing Jennifer at all, really took its toll. Luckily for me, (and my sanity) I managed to land a new job in a career path that’s more in my preferred track.

Shelby “Falcon509” Steiner is now a Data Analyst!

But that’s not what this post is about! No, this is about a thought that occurred to me recently, following what turned out to be one of the more difficult decisions I’ve ever made.

Analogies Are Fun!

Believe it or not, I don’t make friends easily. Sure, I can get along with people just fine, but there are only a handful of people that I’ve spent time with outside of work or events I’ve been invited to. To be perfectly honest, that’s something that I’ve definitely struggled with; I mean, I don’t often go out on a limb and reach out to people to make a friend. Acquaintances at work stay that way, because why would they want to know me outside of work? In my experience, people seem to prefer that arrangement and I’ve found it’s easier not to try forcing a friendship.

My latest job transition has been difficult to say the least. I’ve had the fortune to work with some truly remarkable people, but barring some folks who shared my late night shift, I don’t really feel I made “friends”. That hadn’t stopped me from thinking that I needed to do so, because I liked my coworkers and it didn’t feel right just leaving without a word. Still, it occurred to me that I really didn’t spend much time with most of them, and while I feel I got along well with everyone, it isn’t like I really got to know most of them.

Choosing what to play isn’t much different than making a friend. Some people have wider tastes in terms of the games they prefer, like someone that makes friends easily. Others have narrower preferences, like the kind of person that has a small group of close friends. Some games are an acquired taste, like making friends with someone you didn’t anticipate. For a long while, I played a tiny set of games, but I played the crap out of them and derived a ton of enjoyment from playing those few games. That’s the reason I have such a long list of games that I’ve played for over 100 hours, with some stretching close to the 1000 hour mark. As of late, I found I’ve been trying to stretch myself too thin in many areas of my life, including my hobbies. Now I’ve been finding myself pressing forward, trying to enjoy more games instead of the ones I love. Trying to branch out has been good for me I think because it has exposed me to even more experiences, but at the same time, I feel as if I’ve gotten less enjoyment from my hobby lately as a result. It’s almost as if I’ve been trying to force myself to like more things; like trying to force a friendship.

Just as interests between people don’t always align, sometimes you can’t just find enjoyment in a game. I think the key is to avoid trying to force it, which is why I started the whole Rediscovering Fun series with The Witcher III. It’s why I feel it’s important to remind oneself that you don’t need to enjoy every game.

The same could be said for anything really, especially for myself and writing. I found myself lamenting that I haven’t posted anything in a while, haven’t written anything for my story I’ve been working on, and haven’t been doing any journal entries for The Long Dark either. I’ve been slowly coming to a realization that if my heart isn’t in it, I probably shouldn’t force it.

The good news is that I feel much more free to do what I actually want to do. As for the friends thing? Well, I haven’t quite figured out how to not come across as an awkward mess. Let’s just say I’m a work in progress!

What’s your take on choosing what to play? Do you find yourself trying to force yourself to like something, do you enjoy everything you try, or are you the kind that just sticks with what you know?


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Posted by Shelby "Falcon509" Steiner

I'm just a gamer that enjoys talking about my hobbies. I do a little more than that too. I love cooking, grilling, being outdoors, going target shooting, etc.

6 Comments

  1. When I was younger I had a lot of problems making friends. I was bullied on and made fun of regularly about my looks. I had long curly hair and a “soft voice” and that made me not want friends for a long time. I can make friends pretty easily today, but I choose not to. I don’t go out of my way to be nice to people and I can come across as being a big asshole (sorry if I’m not allowed to say that here) when in reality I’m not. I just like my personal space and I allow a very few select people into my life. It’s just the way I am.

    As far as games go my favorite genres are strategy, rpgs, and sports. I can play any sports game for hours, but I’m not against stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. I would have never played games like Hollow Knight and God of War if I never stepped out of my comfort zone.

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    1. No worries about language here! I can understand about being selective when choosing friends. It’s part of what makes it so hard for myself; the times I’ve been burned.

      I do know I would’ve missed NieR: Automata and God of War myself had I not taken a chance, but I still know I’ve been neglecting what I want to play over games I feel like I should be playing.

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      1. I’ve been burned so many times by “friends” that I just have that “I don’t give a F attitude” dude. I have some lifelong friends that I’ve know for 15+ years and that’s always been there when I needed them and that’s good enough for me. I don’t need hundreds of people to like me and I honestly don’t care what other people think of me.

        God of War was fantastic. I didn’t like NieR very much though. It was okay I guess. I’ve been neglecting my games to lol. I blame Christmas shopping and Guild Wars 2 :).

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  2. I definitely have a hard time walking away from games I’m not enjoying. This has happened to me twice lately: first with Illusion of Gaia, and now with the first Suikoden game. I’m right in the middle of Suikoden and keep hoping it might get better, but there’s something a little draining about pushing yourself through a game just to say you finished it. I did buy it and it’d be a shame not to play it I suppose… I am looking forward to moving on to other things soon.

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  3. I totally understand like… 100% And I am struggling with the gaming department as well. I recently re-purchased the switch (AGAIN) and playing Pokemon (Eevee) and just… trying.

    I keep saying it is because I am just waiting for Anthem, but part of me has just had a hard time connecting lately. (Though I am still enjoying Overwatch, but I know that is because of the company I get while playing it, rather than the game itself.)

    And friends… I have a few quality ones, which is what matters. ;P But making honest-true-yes-we-are-actually-in-real-life- friends…. That is a bit harder.

    But I am glad you have a new career path! (As long as you are enjoying it!) Best of luck!

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  4. I used to force myself to play through or read through things that weren’t jiving with me, and I also kept around people in my life that weren’t worth my time. Now that I’m older, while I’m always nice to be at the get-go, I find social interactions exhausting because I’m constantly worried I said/did the wrong thing (yay anxiety). Now if I don’t like a game or a book I move on, because there are just WAY too many out there to try.

    It’s freaking hard to make friends as an adult. I know my tolerance for bullshit has drastically dropped in my “old” age, and I’m not looking to make new friends. I’m also introverted despite my wonderful acting abilities to seem like an extrovert :p

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