Olivia renews her resolve.
In case you didn’t read it, here’s Part 6.
Day 21 – Renewed Focus
I don’t remember much of last night, but it became very clear to me that I didn’t carry out my plans. The vodka was all gone, and I had a massive hangover. The cold took my mind off of it really quickly though.
I dreamt about mom and dad again last night, but I can’t remember much. They were here with me though, and mom seemed really upset about something. I didn’t get a chance to talk to them at all.
When I woke up, something dad said to me once popped into my head and wouldn’t leave. I can’t remember how we got on the subject (I think I was upset about something at the time), but he was talking to me about his last deployment in the army. He told me that mom had just gotten off the phone with him, and they had been fighting about something. I think it was my grades. He said they both said some pretty hurtful things. She blamed my poor grades on him not being around (he had re-upped for another few years) and he said that she didn’t understand what she was talking about.
I only remember seeing my mom hang up the phone in tears before handing me my report card, and walking off to their bedroom. I normally got to talk to dad for a little each time he called… I thought he was mad at me and didn’t want to talk to me.
I remember now… I was angry with him because I didn’t call mom on her birthday and he was laying into me over it. I hadn’t called home in months except to ask for favors. I had told myself that I was busy with college and didn’t have the time, but they didn’t see it that way. I quickly found myself on the losing end of the argument, so I threw their fight over the phone in his face, saying that he obviously didn’t care much either if he was willing to hurt the both of us when we needed him most.
That’s when he sat me down and explained what happened.
The day he called her, the day they fought, was the day after his patrol was ambushed. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the truck when the vehicle in front of them went up in flames, with his commander and three of his friends in it. By time they fought off the attack and took in the carnage, half of his squad was gone. He re-upped for another few years because those men were more than just friends or coworkers to him, and he wanted to be there to keep them safe. They were family… and now they were just gone. He didn’t tell mom that until he called her back. I never knew he called her back, because I was in my room blaring my music and trying to hate my parents.
He said he almost didn’t call though. He almost volunteered for an extra patrol that night. Before he could muster up the courage to do it, he thought of mom and I. He didn’t want to do anything rash, out of anger or frustration. He loved us, and he wanted to make sure we knew. So he called her and told her everything. Everything that he had been through that day. He told her that no matter what, he was coming home to us.
I know what I need to do now: I need to get back home to see them. If my dad can survive a war and find his way home to us, I can find my way home too
Right now I’m sitting in a cave I found, waiting out yet another blizzard. My clothes are soaked, but I feel good.
To anybody reading this: if you find this on my body, know that I didn’t give up. More importantly, know that you shouldn’t give up either. Keep moving, stay warm, and stay alive.
Want more? Well look no further than Part 8!
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